Tuesday, April 6, 2010

More Rants

As of today, our wedding is 4 months away. Only 4 months and for the most part, I feel like we're in a good place. But it seems like the people you expect to be most supportive of you just aren't. For example, a few years ago my sister got married and I was her MOH, wedding planner, DOC, and just about everything else. I can honestly say I didn't enjoy the wedding because I was so tired and frustrated. I was like the girl from the Exorcist - head spinning all around. I tried to make my sister's day special for her so that she didn't have to worry about anything and it was. Even when we had mild catastrophes, I made sure she never found out. Basically without tooting my own horn, trumpet whatever, the day was enjoyable for her because I along with help from a few other people made it that way.

Now for my wedding, I have a DOC, and i'm my own planner. I tell friends and family my ideas and listen to their opinions. They're not always what I want to hear but I listen and consider them. Sometimes they have far better ideas than me and I appreciate that. But if I heaven forbid I should disagree with anything they say, it's like a personal snub to them.

For instance my sister asked me who was walking me down the aisle since my father can't make it. He had a minor stroke a few years back and has since been on medication for high cholesterol, high blood pressure and a host of other little ailments and since he lives in St.Lucia, it's kinda hard to fly up here in the midst of all that. He's even going through acupuncture treatments. Anyway I said no one,  to which she replied  "that's not how things are done". Like who the hell cares how things are done? It's my wedding, things are done how I want them to be done. I'm so sick of people expecting things to be done their way or the traditional way. It's like everywhere I turn, someone is telling me "well that's not how it's done or how they did it, or I should make everyone happy". She then suggested that I  have my nephew ( her 18 year old son) walk me down. Are you effing kidding me? Although she's my MOH, she wasn't very happy that my nephew wasn't also part of the wedding party. The conversation suddenly took a turn and it was like "anyway i'll talk to you later" . WTF!!! Why do I need my nephew (or anyone else for that matter) walk me down. My father isn't able to be there so fine i'll deal with it. Plus the way i've organised our entry, Mr. Muscle, my son and I are walking in together.

So far I haven't asked anyone to do anything for me until now. I asked Bm B to have her friend call me so I can have her put in some hair extensions for me to do a hair trial run. She was like oh  no, you should go to the hair dresser to do that. I lost my job almost 4 weeks ago so our limited budget is even more limited now so I would think that these people would be the most supportive but noooooo, that's too much to ask. I said that I would go professional for the big day but I wanted to have a few different do's to see whether I wanted my hair up, down, curly, straight whatever. Then she says, as a matter of fact she needs to get her hair done so we can go together even after I kept harping on the money part. Made no difference.

So now i've decided that I ain't telling nobody shit. Everything will be a surprise to everyone including my wedding party. I'm seriously effing sick of this.And what kills me is that i'm always soooo supportive of everyone. My adage is just help out with whatever, work my ass off for any event that i'm asked to. Is it too much to expect the same?   Thanks for letting me vent y'all.



  1. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this crap. Like you said, don't tell anybody shit and if they wanna bitch about it after the wedding then whatever but you don't need the added stress right now!

  2. My politically correct self would tell you that I am sorry to hear this and I hope you find someone you can ask for help down the road. But right now, I just want to tell you, YOU GO GIRL! F everybody else right now! Every word you typed made your situation so clear to me. I think you and the Mr and your son walking in together is beautiful! And I can totally relate about the just not having money for the extensions thing. Just a tip-I got extensions in my hair at a beauty school for next to nothing. Never hurts to give one a call and ask questions! Good luck. And we're here for you-even if its just to support you with the words we type!

  3. I can totally empathize with you right now. I am having some serious drama in my wedding party right now and I think the same thing - I have done everything I can to make your day special and all you can do is complain about mine. All I can say is we both need to take a deep breath, do it OUR WAY, and ENJOY this moment in our lives, no matter what others are doing to ruin it. We only get this chance once, and we don't want to look back and only see the negative. Good luck and I wish you nothing but happy planning from here on out!

  4. (((hugs)))

    Don't let anyone bully you into doing something that you don't want to do. It's YOUR wedding. I love the idea of your FI and your son walking you down the aisle - there won't be a dry eye in the house!!!

  5. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with so much angst from others. I have had similar situations and understand how you are feeling! It's difficult to work on a tight budget and you deserve to do things how you would like....despite what everyone else feels or believes! Good for you for standing up for yourself!

  6. Yes, I wish I would have kept my mouth shut to avoid their "supportive" comments, like you cant do it that way. Fuckers. How is that supportive?

  7. i am sooo here... i have been tight lipped for a month or so now, part of it is me being sick of talking wedding, but most is actually im sick of being pulled in one direction or another, at this point i'm doing what i want and i'm really not looking for any more input - and since most people have a hard time offering support and NOT input, i keep it in - screw 'em!


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