More Rants

As of today, our wedding is 4 months away. Only 4 months and for the most part, I feel like we're in a good place. But it seems like the people you expect to be most supportive of you just aren't. For example, a few years ago my sister got married and I was her MOH, wedding planner, DOC, and just about everything else. I can honestly say I didn't enjoy the wedding because I was so tired and frustrated. I was like the girl from the Exorcist - head spinning all around. I tried to make my sister's day special for her so that she didn't have to worry about anything and it was. Even when we had mild catastrophes, I made sure she never found out. Basically without tooting my own horn, trumpet whatever, the day was enjoyable for her because I along with help from a few other people made it that way.

Now for my wedding, I have a DOC, and i'm my own planner. I tell friends and family my ideas and listen to their opinions. They're not always what I want to hear but I listen and consider them. Sometimes they have far better ideas than me and I appreciate that. But if I heaven forbid I should disagree with anything they say, it's like a personal snub to them.

For instance my sister asked me who was walking me down the aisle since my father can't make it. He had a minor stroke a few years back and has since been on medication for high cholesterol, high blood pressure and a host of other little ailments and since he lives in St.Lucia, it's kinda hard to fly up here in the midst of all that. He's even going through acupuncture treatments. Anyway I said no one,  to which she replied  "that's not how things are done". Like who the hell cares how things are done? It's my wedding, things are done how I want them to be done. I'm so sick of people expecting things to be done their way or the traditional way. It's like everywhere I turn, someone is telling me "well that's not how it's done or how they did it, or I should make everyone happy". She then suggested that I  have my nephew ( her 18 year old son) walk me down. Are you effing kidding me? Although she's my MOH, she wasn't very happy that my nephew wasn't also part of the wedding party. The conversation suddenly took a turn and it was like "anyway i'll talk to you later" . WTF!!! Why do I need my nephew (or anyone else for that matter) walk me down. My father isn't able to be there so fine i'll deal with it. Plus the way i've organised our entry, Mr. Muscle, my son and I are walking in together.

So far I haven't asked anyone to do anything for me until now. I asked Bm B to have her friend call me so I can have her put in some hair extensions for me to do a hair trial run. She was like oh  no, you should go to the hair dresser to do that. I lost my job almost 4 weeks ago so our limited budget is even more limited now so I would think that these people would be the most supportive but noooooo, that's too much to ask. I said that I would go professional for the big day but I wanted to have a few different do's to see whether I wanted my hair up, down, curly, straight whatever. Then she says, as a matter of fact she needs to get her hair done so we can go together even after I kept harping on the money part. Made no difference.

So now i've decided that I ain't telling nobody shit. Everything will be a surprise to everyone including my wedding party. I'm seriously effing sick of this.And what kills me is that i'm always soooo supportive of everyone. My adage is just help out with whatever, work my ass off for any event that i'm asked to. Is it too much to expect the same?   Thanks for letting me vent y'all.


JEM.