Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Children at the wedding.

Ladies, I really need your advice and I mean seriously. So my dilemma is whether to have children at the wedding or not. No please hear me out first. I love kids ( I have a 2 year old myself) and I would love to have them at the wedding but my problem is that based on the guests invited I have 22 children. That's not counting anyone above 12. I'm talking about 22 children under 9. I've finally found a venue and the capacity is 100 people. I have 90 adults on my list although I haven't sent out my invites or received RSVPs yet so I don't have the final count yet.

The thing is I've heard alot of people say that if they can't bring their kids to a wedding, they're not going. Yet the last at least 4 weddings i've been to, the invitations said adults only or adult reception etc. I didn't have any issues with that since I don't think I can have a really good time at a party with a baby anyway, especially one that goes well into the night.

But I really don't want to alienate anyone. I don't want anyone to refuse because they think i'm being selfish. Please let me know what you think. Am I being unreasonable? What would you do? Help!!!!!
TTFN (ta ta for now).


  1. Is there an extra room at the venue? Maybe you could hire 1-2 people to 'babysit' the kids while their parents are having fun? Maybe a couple college students that won't charge much? I know as a college student myself I would not mind doing something like that and wouldn't charge much at all.

  2. I think you have to do whatever is right for you. I have kids myself (and so does FI) and they all play a HUGE part in our wedding so we can't imagine excluding children. But as mother, I'd never get mad if someone told me that I couldn't bring my kids - to each their own you know??

    I know this is a tough decision for you, just remember, whatever you choose will be right for YOU.

  3. Don't feel guilty! We couldn't afford the space for kids, honestly. So we said no kids but really close family members are allowed to bring theirs. Put the amt of guests they can bring on the rsvp's like you and 1 guest, or you and 3 guests etc. to filter how many kids or whose kids come.

  4. Oh plenty of thoughts on this one:

    We are only inviting children of family members or friends who are coming from a very far distance.

    We are also hiring 2 babysitters and allowing the children to be watched in a separate room at the venue where we're setting up a tv with a DVD player, games, coloring books, etc. We are even setting up a few pack and play cribs for infants to sleep in.

    We also asked friends if they'd be offended that we don't invite their children and they said they prefer to come without their kids because weddings are often like a 'date night' for them. As you said, it's hard to enjoy yourself while watching a toddler or infant.

    I think it's important for you to weigh your options and desires and then make a decision that works for you. If someone says they won't come unless their kids are invited, then they really shouldn't be there anyway. It's one thing if they are struggling to find a sitter, but a whole different thing if they are offended and feel like you owe it to them.

    Don't stress over whatever decision you make.

  5. Thanks so much ladies, I don't feel so bad anymore. I like the idea of just having the children taking part in the wedding and OOT kids as well as probably really close family like kids of the bridal party participants.

  6. I couldn't find your email in my email box so I thought I would leave a comment here... my card box is so cute! :) Thank you so much! I just wanted to let you know though that there was some damage to it and some of the paper ripped, luckily for me it was in a way that I was able to fix it! Thanks again :)


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