I'm so frustrated

Ugggggghhhhhh!!!! I'm so freaking frustrated right now. First of all, I have 194 days or so till my wedding and I still don't have a reception venue. I finally got my officiant booked and my ceremony place pretty much booked but that may change based on the reception venue that I get. After all, I can't have my guests driving miles and miles from the ceremony to reception. I really, really want an outdoor ceremony, I mean i'm not very religious and don't belong to any church so that's kinda not an option and did I mention that I really, really want an outdoor ceremony?

Also considering the limited budget, a country club was out of the question. I really want something that says us. The problem is i'm more laid back than my darling FH. I would just as well have a park ceremony and have a picnic after, complete with picnic tables and blankets and bocci and croquet and bar b que and potato salad and the whole works. He on the other hand has all his doctor friends and higher ups who always invite us to these really uppity places, don't get me wrong, I love going but I don't necessarily feel that I have to reciprocate in kind. Unfortunately, he does.

My problem is I live in New York City where everything is so expensive. All I want is an empty hall/ loft/ space to create my own wedding. We've decided that we will get married in Pelham Bay park which is beautiful and the largest park in NYC right in front of the Victory Memorial. I think it's perfect, but that's contingent on getting a reception place within close proximity. If we can't, we may have to change our ceremony site and that would really suck.The problem is I CAN"T FIND ONE. Any and every place that I find wants to give me a completely packaged wedding which I don't want. Is anyone familiar with the Bronx/Manhattan region and know of a place where I can start from a blank slate? I've bought so much crap already and there's no way i'm just pushing all that to a side and allowing someone else to create my day for me.

Can you tell that i'm frustrated? Somebody, anybody help a sister out.
Thanks for allowing me to vent, TTFN (ta ta for now).